Unfortunately, I didn’t have a good idea of what I wanted to do with them. Searching for recipes didn’t turn up anything that really floated my boat and most recipes I could find on the net were for sea scallops. Sea scallops of course are much bigger than bay scallops so they lend themselves well to things like breading and frying but bay scallops usually just turn into very expensive and soggy balls of fishy goo if you do that to them. We’re very anti-fishy goo in this house. Thus there they’ve sat in the back of my freezer taunting me, “We’re damn expensive and delicious, and you’re still not eating us!”

Now, I’ve been doing of lot of rather meat intensive dishes of late (meat loaf, meat ball sandwiches, meat roast, vegetable meat soup…) so it seemed a good time to give my arteries a rest and maybe do something a bit lighter. And being really hungry I was also feeling quite impatient and, dare I say, reckless so I threw caution to the wind and thawed out the scallops deciding I’d just throw something together. Edible or not, it would get eaten. But my gamble paid off and handsomly, allowing you, dear reader, to benefit from my careless ways..

As with all my unrecipes, please don’t take measurements or even ingredients as gospel. I don’t really measure things most nights I”m cooking and whatever I list here are just approximations. Don’t want so much garlic? Cut it down. Want it fishier or richer? Add more scallops or butter. Substitute fake crab meat for the scallops and rigatoni for the pasta if you want, and add a little heavy cream to the sauce. Hell, make a yucky face and order a pizza if you want. It’s all good.

Bay Scallops and Sea Shells in a Light Lemon-Dill Sauce Unrecipe
Ingredients

• 1 lb. medium shell pasta, cooked and drained
• 1.5 lbs. bay scallops, well-drained and patted dry
• 6 cloves garlic, minced or pressed
• 2 Tbsp. olive oil
• 1.5 cups chicken stock or bouillon
• 3 Tbsp. lemon juice
• 3 Tbsp. dried parsley
• 1.5 tsp. dried dill
• 1 – 2 Tbsp. butter

Preparation

1. Heat olive oil in a large pan on high heat
2. Sautee garlic about a minute just till it turns light brown
3. Add in scallops and toss to coat with oil, let cook for about two minutes (If you can get yours to brown, you’re a better cook than I)
4. Stir, and allow to cook a couple of minutes more
5. Add in chicken stock/bouillon and lemon juice and allow to come to a boil
6. Reduce heat to a simmer
7. Add in parsley and dill, giving a stir to distribute evenly (ooo… pretty…)
8. Let scallops and broth/bouillon mixture continue to simmer until reduced by about half the volume (about six to ten minutes)
9. Add butter, and stir until melted
10. Toss with pasta shells and enjoy!

Related posts:

1. Pan Fried Salmon with Lemon-Dill Sauce
2. Squash Pasta with a light Rosemary-Garlic Butter Sauce
3. Chilled Lemon Shrimp Pasta Salad

So when I saw this video showing how to substitute summer squash for fettuccine making the rounds of the food blogs a couple of weeks ago I thought this was just more of the same food fakery. But I needed something to make to bring with me to book club this past Tuesday so I decided to use Fort Wayne’s literati as guinea pigs.

Well, dear readers, let me be the first to admit I was wrong. This is a wonderful way of cutting back on the carbs or getting the pasta experience if you happen to be gluten sensitive. Oh, to be sure, it is not pasta. It smells like squash, it tastes like squash and the texture is just slightly off from that of a nice al dente noodle. Who cares!? It’s frickin’ delicious and takes all of ten minutes to make. Twenty if you count the peeling, which goes much faster than you’d expect.

As the video shows, simply use your vegetable peeler (known as a veggie twaddler in this house) and slice thin strips off your squash, rotating every strip.

Click here to view the embedded video.

The only downside is that the process could be considered enormously wasteful since you end up throwing away about a third of each squash (the core with the seeds which is impossible to peel). Then simply saute your “noodles” for about two to three minutes over medium-high heat in about a table spoon of olive oil.

You’re going to have to eyeball the amount of oil, and the exact time you saute the squash peelings. The problem is that, much like the American economy, squash will pretty much soak up all the oil you throw at it. You want just enough to coat it and keep it from sticking.

As for the time, the amount of moisture in your squash is going to determine that. Be careful, because they will burn in an instant and turn to soggy mush just before that. What you want to look for is the color change. You’ll know your squash noodles are done when their color turns bright yellow (or green — zucchini works too).

Oh, and depending on how much squash you’re cooking at once, saute it in batches. That’ll help ensure that it cooks evenly.

Squash Pasta with a light Rosemary-Garlic Butter Sauce
Ingredients

• 3 large summer squash
• 3 large zucchini
• 2-3 tbsp. olive oil (I ended up using just over two tablespoons)
• 2-3 tbsp. lemon juice
• 1-2 tbsp. butter (depending on how big your squash were, or how much you like butter)
• 1/2 tsp. dried, ground rosemary
• 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
• Pinch of salt (optional)

Preparation

1. Twaddle your squash as above
2. Toss with lemon juice
3. Heat large pan over medium-high heat
4. Add 1 tbsp. olive oil and allow to come up to temperature
5. Saute roughly 1/3 of the squash noodles, stirring frequently
6. Remove to a separate dish and repeat process two more times
7. After all the squash noodles are finished sauteing, add butter to pan
8. Allow butter to melt and add in rosemary and garlic
9. Add a pinch of salt if desired
10. Reduce heat and stir melted butter, rosemary and garlic
11. Add squash noodles back into pan, toss with butter mixture and serve

Well, this is one dish I will certainly be adding into my regular rotation. My bookish compatriots thoroughly enjoyed this dish too. It’s not often that something that proclaims itself “healthy and delicious” ends up fulfilling its promise but believe me, this one does not disappoint.

Related posts:

1. Cheesy Beefy Pasta Sauce Un-Recipe
2. Bay Scallops and Sea Shells in a Light Lemon-Dill Sauce Unrecipe
3. Spaghetti with Spinach Sauce

Whether you believe that Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup was the foundation of modern civilization, you have to admit that it’s pretty handy to have around. How else do you explain almost 80,000 recipes using it on Google? Today I have an un-recipe for a yummy pasta sauce taking advantage of that mushroomy miracle in a can.

It’s an un-recipe because I’m a little light on the measurements. The truth is, I wanted pasta with a meat sauce for dinner and I didn’t have any tomato sauce in the cupboard. So I just made this up on the spot with what I had lying about. My suggestion to you is just that… take this un-recipe and any measurements as only a suggestion of what you might want to do. Everybody’s tastes are different and who knows what you have in your pantry. Besides, it’s not like I wrote anything down. I was hungry!

This should make enough to take care of 16 oz. of dry pasta, cooked. Medium size shells are my favorite, but I think it’d be good with rigatoni or any hearty pasta that will hold the sauce.

Cheesy Beefy Pasta Sauce
Ingredients

• 1 lb. ground beef
• 2 tsp. black pepper
• 2 tsp. Italian Seasoning
• 1 tsp. onion powder
• 1 tsp. garlic powder
• 1 tsp. ground red pepper
• 8 oz. beef stock (I used beef bouillon cubes)
• 1 (8 oz.) can Cream of Mushroom Soup
• 1-2 cup shredded cheese (I used a Mexican cheese blend, but cheddar is always good)

Preparation

1. Brown ground beef in a large skillet on high heat
2. While beef is cooking, add seasonings and stir
3. Depending on how fatty the ground beef you used was, you may wish to drain it at this point
4. Add beef stock and Condensed Cream of Mushroom soup
5. Stir until soup is completely dissolved into the beef stock
6. Continue to heat on high 4-5 minutes, stirring occassionally
7. Add shredded cheese and stir until melted completely
8. Continue to heat a minute or two more
9. Glop over pasta and enjoy the bountiful goodness that is Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup.

If I had had them, I would also have added a can or two of mushrooms (drained) and maybe a cup of peas or maybe a little broccoli. Your mileage may vary so, of course, let us know in comments how this worked out for you, what you did differently, or suggest some of your very own favorite un-recipes.

Related posts:

1. Squash Pasta with a light Rosemary-Garlic Butter Sauce
2. Bay Scallops and Sea Shells in a Light Lemon-Dill Sauce Unrecipe
3. Pasta with Hummus and Veggies

I adapted this recipe from several I found around the net, adjusting the ingredients to our tastes. As I made it, the shrimp have a very strong flavor to them and not everybody likes that so feel free to make your own adjustments. And for heaven’s sake, enjoy it with a small shot of rum. We won’t tell your boss.

Rum Scampi
Ingredients

• 1 lb. frozen, precooked, shrimp, thawed
• Tabasco sauce to taste
• 1/2 cup rum
• 1 1/2 tbsp. lime juice
• 2 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
• 1/2 tsp. cumin
• 2 (3 oz.) packets shrimp flavored ramen noodles
• 1 tbsp. butter
• 2 – 3 tbsp. butter
• 2 tsp. garlic powder
• 2 tbsp. dried parsley
• Pepper to taste

Preparation

• Pull the little bits of tail shell off the shrimp, place the shrimp in a large bowl and then give them a nice rub down in as much Tabasco sauce as you like. I used quite a bit, enough to thoroughly coat the shrimp.
• For the marinade, whisk together the rum, lime juice, Worcestershire sauce and cumin in a separate smaller bowl.
• Pour the marinade on top of the shrimp, making sure the shrimp are covered.
• Refrigerate the shrimp and marinade for at least an hour, but three or four hours is better. I let the shrimp party all night long.
• Boil some water, and cook the ramen noodles until done (just about 3 min).
• Drain the noodles, and stir in the tablespoon of margarine or butter
• Add the contents of the two shrimp flavored seasoning packets and mix well. Set noodles aside.
• Melt the 2-3 tbsp. butter in a large skillet
• As soon as the butter is frothy, add the shrimp to the skillet, reserving the marinade
• Saute the shrimp on high heat about 10 minutes to bring out their color
• Add in about 1/2 the reserved marinade, along with the garlic powder and dried parsley
• Allow the sauce to reduce to about 1/2 its’ volume (about 5-10 minutes)
• Add in about 1/2 of the rest of the marinade and allow the sauce to reduce to maybe 3/4 of its’ volume (another 5-10 minutes)
• When the sauce has reduced, or you can’t stand to wait any longer and have to eat right that instant, toss in the ramen noodles to coat them with the sauce. Cook an additional minute to make sure the ramen noodles are reheated, add pepper to taste and serve.

Related posts:

1. Why don’t we do this more often? (Shrimp and Pineapple Curry)
2. Chilled Lemon Shrimp Pasta Salad
3. East Meets West Chicken

In fact, now that I think about it, this may have been the very first meal I ever made for Catherine. I don’t think I’ll forget the look of surprise and delight as she walked in the door and the warm, fishy aroma first hit her, or the look of joy that overtook her face on first tasting it. As I said above, Catherine and I both go nuts for this time-saving stew which leads me to wonder why I waited almost a whole year to make it again.

I mean, really, why don’t we make this more often? It’s so simple to make that you can chop up everything the night before, fry up the bacon and onion the next morning and toss it all in the crockpot before you leave for work. By the time you come home, you’ve got a wonderful, tasty and satisfying home-cooked meal that beats the pants off any pizza. And if you knew how much I love pizza, you’d know how strong of a statement that is.

You’ll want to serve your stew with your favorite cheap beer and a nice crusty bread to sop up the soup left at the bottom of your bowl.

Hearty Crockpot Fish Stew
Ingredients

• 2 lbs. fish (flounder tastes great, but almost any oldfish will do), chopped into bite-sized pieces
• 4 med. potatoes, chopped into bite-sized pieces
• 8 oz. mushrooms, sliced
• 2 cups water
• 1/4 lb. bacon, chopped into bite-sized pieces
• 1 med. onion, coarsely chopped
• 2 tbsp. dried parsley
• 3 tsp. garlic pepper salt
• 2 tsp. chili powder
• 1 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. ground red pepper
• 1/4 tsp. pepper
• 1 (8 oz.) can evaporated milk

Preparation

1. Chop up your fish, bacon, onion and potatoes.
2. Throw the potatoes, fish, and mushrooms into the crockpot and add the water.
3. Saute the bacon and onion together until the bacon is just this side of crisp and the onion is golden and transluscent.
4. Spoon the bacon, onion and bacon grease on top of the fish, potatoes and mushrooms.
5. Add seasonings.
6. Give everything a good stir or two so everybody gets acquainted.
7. Put the lid on and cook on low six to eight hours or on high four to five hours.
8. Stir the evaporated milk in about an hour before eating if cooking on low, or a half hour if cooking on high.

Related posts:

1. Friday Night Fish Fry at Ya Boy – The Way the Good Lord Intended
2. Our favorite lumpy garlic mashed potatoes
3. Who says you can never go home again?

The key to summer cooking is to cook for as short as possible, do it as early in the day as possible, then forget about it and spend the rest of the day competing with the dog for the primo spot on the sofa right next to the A/C vent. This recipe fits the bill. To its advantage, it happens to be quite tasty too and literally takes under a half hour to make (including the time it takes the water to come to a boil). Now move over dog, it’s my turn!

Chilled Lemon Shrimp Pasta Salad

Ingredients

• 16 oz. fettucine, cooked, drained and cooled
• 16 oz. medium shrimp, peeled, deveined (frozen cocktail shrimp work great!)
• 2 tbsp lemon juice
• 1 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 1/2 cup Italian salad dressing
• 1/2 cup fresh parsely, chopped
• 1/2 cup red onion, finely chopped
• 2 tsp. Cajun seasoning
• 1 tsp. ground black pepper (or to taste)

Preparation

1. Toss the shrimp and lemon juice in a large bowl (I do this ahead of time and refrigerate to allow the shrimp to soak up the lemony goodness)
2. Mix everything else together, except the pasta
3. Toss the mayonnaise mix with the fettucine and shrimp
4. Cover and refrigerate salad, 1 to 2 hours

Related posts:

1. Why don’t we do this more often? (Shrimp and Pineapple Curry)
2. DIY Casa Salad?
3. Bay Scallops and Sea Shells in a Light Lemon-Dill Sauce Unrecipe

Spaghetti with Spinach Sauce
Ingredients

• 1 package (10 oz) frozen, chopped spinach, thawed and drained
• 8 oz spaghetti
• 1/2 cup olive oil
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 large onion, sliced
• 2 cloves garlic, crushed
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp basil
• 1/2 cup Parmesan with extra for garnish

Preparation

1. Cook the spaghetti as the side of the box commands
2. Heat the oil and butter in a skillet
3. Add the onion, garlic and spinach to the skillet
4. Reduce heat and simmer, covered for 10 minutes
5. Stir salt and basil into spinach mixture
6. Cover again and simmer another 5 minutes
7. Stir Parmesan into the spinach mixture
8. Serve over the spaghetti with more Parmesan

A couple of important notes: the amount of oil and butter called for is, in my humble opinion, insane. I usually half the oil and go a little light on the butter and it’s still nice and greasy. Of course, the recommended two cloves of garlic is laughable. I’d start with about eight and possibly add more if I’m feeling ambitious.

Related posts:

1. Salsagheti Gusanos Mango (candy “spaghetti” worms with tamarind sauce)
2. Bay Scallops and Sea Shells in a Light Lemon-Dill Sauce Unrecipe
3. Squash Pasta with a light Rosemary-Garlic Butter Sauce

East Meets West Chicken
Ingredients

• 1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1/2 cup teriyaki sauce
• 1/2 cup red wine vinegar
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1 tsp. ground ginger
• 2 tsp. garlic pepper salt
• dash of ground red pepper to taste

Preparation

1. Just mix everything except the chicken together in a large bowl and call it a marinade
2. Have the chicken take a nice long swim in the marinade, say four or five hours but refrigerate it or else you’ll get some unwanted guests for dinner
3. When it comes time to make dinner, preheat the oven to 350 degrees
4. Lightly grease a small baking pan
5. Place the chicken in the pan and pour in enough marinade to almost cover
6. Bake for about a half hour or until your partner gets home

As it turns out the experiment was a rousing success. We both loved it and it took almost no time to make. To round off the meal we had the chicken with frozen Italian mixed vegetables (Kroger’s best) and our our favorite garlic-onion lumpy mashed potatoes. Proof positive that a wonderful dinner doesn’t mean slaving away in a hot kitchen for hours.

Related posts:

1. Rum Scampi
2. When Good Foods Go Bad – Part 2