Fake Fudge

Ingredients

• 2 king size Snickers bars
• 1 tub (container? jar?) of chocolate frosting
• 8 oz. semi-sweet chocolate

Preparation

1. melt everything together over a low flame (some purists might insist on using a double-boiler, I say “why bother?”)
2. pour into a 8 x 8 pan and allow to harden

Sure, it isn’t exactly fudge, but it’s so good and so freakin’ easy! Thanks to Jo Baird via my mom for this gem.

No related posts.

I think it took another fifteen minutes for the final two layers to appear, but happily they all came out intact and more or less aligned with their recently liberated bretheren for Sophie and the rest of the guests to properly admire. Indeed, there was much ooh-ing and ah-ing over Catherine’s jiggly creation. It was quite the work of art. I’m sure Bill Cosby himself would have shed a tear at its sheer beauty.

While It’s hard to imagine the housewives of the ’50s and ’60s (when jello moulds were king) had this much fun, but it was worth the wait. And surprisingly delicious! The sour cream in the white layer made for a creamy, tangy counterpart to the sweet berry flavors. While I can’t see us making this very often, it was a thoroughly enjoyable creation. I know I have a lot more respect for gelatinous desserts after all this. Too bad we only have a crumby cell phone pic of the half-eaten jello to illustrate this recipe.

Ingredients

• 2 (3 ounce) packages berry blue gelatin
• 2 (3 ounce) packages strawberry flavored gelatin
• 4 cups boiling water, divided
• 2 1/2 cups cold water, divided
• 2 envelopes unflavored gelatin
• 2 cups milk
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 cups sour cream
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Preparation

1. In four separate bowls, dissolve each package of gelatin in 1 cup boiling water. Add 1/2 cup cold water to each and stir. Pour one bowl of blue gelatin into an oiled 10-in. fluted tub pan; chill until almost set, about 30 minutes.
2. Set other three bowls of gelatin aside at room temperature. Soften unflavored gelatin in remaining cold water; let stand 5 minutes.
3. Heat milk in a saucepan over medium heat just below boiling. Stir in softened gelatin and sugar until sugar is dissolved. Remove from heat; stir in sour cream and vanilla until smooth. When blue gelatin in pan in almost set, carefully spoon 1-1/2 cups sour cream mixture over it. Chill until almost set, about 30 minutes.
4. Carefully spoon one bowl of strawberry gelatin over cream layer. Chill until almost set. Carefully spoon 1-1/2 cups cream mixture over the strawberry layer. Chill until almost set. Repeat, adding layers of blue gelatin, cream mixture and strawberry gelatin, chilling in between each. Chill several hours or overnight.

Note: Recipe by Sue Gronholz.

Update: Catherine’s second nationalistic Jello creation in as many weeks. This time it’s the colors of the Peruvian flag. Hmm… Should I be worried?

No related posts.

In the oven it will rise way up, and then collapse back in on itself. Some dubious websites I’ve read seem to think that French peasant moms used to entertain their kids by, apparently, parking them in front of the oven to watch the rise and fall of the clafouti. Either 19th C. French children were way too easily amused or there’s something fishy about this story I think.

It’s terribly easy to make, assuming you have a soux chef to pit all those damn cherries for you. Just be sure to avoid my mistake and buy tart, dark cherries. I swear I reached into the bin with the dark cherries but when I went to make this the bag was clearly labeled “sweet cherries”. Also, gauging by how my clafouti came out, if your cherries are extra juicy, you’re probably going to want to add an extra 1/4 cup or so of flour. You’re just going to have to eyeball it, but then that’s the joy of rustic peasant dishes… it’s hard to screw them up too much.

I’ll let you know how everybody liked the clafouti (I love saying that word) later, but right now it’s time to go be literary.

Updated: Well, the clafouti was a huge hit. There was barely a spoonful left. An even bigger hit though was Catherine’s patriotic jello, which I’ll get to posting in a little bit.

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon softened butter
• 1 cup whole milk
• 1/4 cup heavy cream
• 2/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 3 large eggs
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon almond extract (optional)
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 4 cups dark cherries, preferably pitted

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Butter a 9″ X 9″ deep dish pie pan, square baking pan or something similar.
3. Whisk together all ingredients except the cherries
4. Pour about 3/4 of a cup of the batter in your prepared baking pan
5. Bake 2-5 minutes until the batter is just set
6. Arrange the cherries over the top of the hot batter
7. Pour the rest of the batter over the cherries
8. Bake 35 – 40 minutes until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean and enjoy!

No related posts.

(Funny story: my daughter Rachel ate almost all of said lemon squares on the way to the Panic! at the Disco concert and then became completely hyper. I’ve never heard a human talk so fast before.)

So I know that this recipe works, it just doesn’t work for me. When I made them, they turned out like lemon brownies – which isn’t really a BIG problem – lacking the stratification of the more traditional lemon square. I think that the problem was my failure to press the crust down firmly before baking it. So, press firmly and enjoy.Lemon Squares (from Marjory “Madame” Leas)

Crust:

• 2 cups flour
• 1/2 cup powdered sugar
• 1 cup butter or margarine, softened

Mix together and PRESS FIRMLY into 9″ x 13″ pan. Bake for 20 minutes at 350 F.

Filling:

• 4 eggs
• 4 tbsp lemon juice
• grated rind of 1 lemon
• 2 cups sugar
• 4 tbsp flour
• 1 tsp baking powder

Preparation

1. Beat eggs until light and fluffy. Add lemon juice and rind.
2. Combine flour, sugar, and baking powder and add to egg mixture.
3. Pour over baked crust and continue baking for 25 minutes or until it seems set when pan is jiggled.
4. Sprinkle with powdered sugar.
5. Cut into squares (not barz!) when cool.

Related posts:

1. Krusteaz lemon bar mix sucks!
2. Torta Di Ricotta E Cioccolata (Ricotta and Chocolate Cake)

A case in point is this wonderful Self-Saucing Chocolate Pudding Cake which comes from Jumbo Empanadas.

This was one of the first things that Leo and I ever made together, back in his apartment in Cherry Valley, NY. It was delightful. Despite the fact that we had to use his downstairs neighbor’s oven because his didn’t work. (He’s moved up in the world and now has a functional oven and some of the burners on his stove work as well.) The last time that I made this, however, I was in a rush and it fell far, far short of that original delight. Looking at the recipe now, I’m not sure how I could have screwed it up. It seems foolproof: a simple batter and an even simpler sauce; the toughest step is boiling the water. But screw it up I did. It was okay – I mean, it was still made of chocolate cake – but I know that I can do better if I take it slower and you, dear reader, can too. So relax, make sure that you have about twenty minutes for prep time and forty five minutes for baking, and then enjoy.

Self-Saucing Chocolate Pudding Cake
Ingredients

Sauce

• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup cocoa
• 3/4 cup boiling water
• 1 cup milk

Mix sugar and cocoa. Gradually stir in boiling water. When smooth, add milk.

Batter

• 1 cup flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup cocoa
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 cup chopped pecans or walnuts
• 1/2 cup milk
• 2 Tbsp melted butter
• 1 tsp vanilla

Preparation

1. Sift the dry ingredients; add nuts.
2. Add milk, butter and vanilla.
3. Spread into a greased 8″ x 8″ pan.
4. Pour the sauce over the top of the batter.
5. Bake on the upper shelf of the oven for 45 minutes at 350.

Related posts:

1. Torta Di Ricotta E Cioccolata (Ricotta and Chocolate Cake)
2. A spice cake fit for a Duke (Fresh Ginger Cake)

Since this month’s selection was Dune, it was perfectly obvious to me that nothing but spice cake would do. However, as one might expect, Melange is incredibly hard to find locally. Luckily, I found this recipe from Maxie’s Supper Club at Chow and decided that fresh grated ginger, while less trippy than melange, would be an adequate substitute.

Maxie’s recipe did not disappoint! The flavor was rich, intense and the black pepper added just the right bit of bite. The freshly grated ginger was a delight not only for the taste buds, but also provided a springy, almost meaty, texture not unlike carrot cake. The result is a heady, earthy treat with a decidedly old-fashioned^* feel.

In short, this is pure comfort food. Perfect for enjoying a a cup of tea while enjoying your favorite book.

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp. ground cloves
• 1/2 tsp. ground black pepper
• 3/4 cup molasses
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 3/4 cup vegetable oil
• 3/4 cup water
• 1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
• 3 oz. fresh ginger (about a 4″ piece), peeled, grated and finely chopped
• 2 large eggs

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees, arrange a rack in middle of oven
2. Butter and flour a 9″ cake pan; set aside
3. Whisk together flour, cinnamon, cloves and pepper in a medium bowl; set aside
4. Whisk together molasses, sugar and oil in a large bowl; set aside
5. Bring water to a boil (I microwaved it), and stir in the baking soda
6. Stir water and baking soda into molasses mixture
7. Stir ginger into molasses mixture
8. Gradually whisk dry ingredients into molasses mixture
9. Add eggs and continue mixing until thoroughly combined
10. Pour batter into prepared pan, spreading evenly
11. Bake 45 – 50 minutes until done
12. Allow cake to cool for at least 30 minutes before removing from the pan

^*Taste and memories are odd things. I mentioned that this cake had a definite old-fashioned taste to it. A few of the other members of the book group agreed. But how would we know what an “old-fashioned” taste is? Is it the food our grandmothers made when we were growing up? Well, I don’t know about your grandmother, but my grandmother loved her Duncan-Hines-in-a-box cakes. And it can’t be the intense ginger flavor because I’m sure I never saw fresh ginger root at the A&P or Victory markets growing up. So what makes something taste “old-fashioned”? I don’t know. If you do, please say something in the comments because these are the kinds of questions that keep me awake at night.

Related posts:

1. Surprise Carrot Cake
2. Slow Cooker (Self-Saucing Pudding Cake)
3. Torta Di Ricotta E Cioccolata (Ricotta and Chocolate Cake)

Oh, alright. So it’s probably unrealistic to expect that from any food but these muffins are pretty tasty. And I’ve been making variations on this recipe, on and off, for a few months now trying to get the perfect vanilla muffin. I don’t think I’m there yet, but these will do. They have a delicate flavor that will go well with your morning coffee and they are pretty easy to make to boot. In fact, if you’re organized, you can probably whip up the batter in the time it takes your oven to preheat.

I also like to think these are versatile little quick breads in that the basic recipe serves well as a base for other muffin varieties. Throw in a handful of blueberries, or chocolate chips or perhaps dial back the sugar and throw in some Asiago cheese and suddenly you’ve got a whole other biscuit. So maybe these muffins haven’t reached nirvana, but when they’re this simple and good who cares?

Vanilla Muffin Nirvana
Ingredients (Muffins)

• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup evaporated milk
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1/4 cup butter (1/2 stick), melted
• 2 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 2 cups flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp nutmeg

Ingredients (Topping)

• 1 1/2 tsp sugar
• 1/8 tsp cinnamon

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees
2. Beat together sugar, evaporated milk, egg, melted butter, and vanilla
3. Combine flour, baking powder and nutmeg making sure to mix well
4. Stir wet ingredients into dry trying to get all the lumps out
5. Combine sugar and cinnamon for toppping and sprinkle over tops of each muffin
6. Bake 15 – 20 minutes

Related posts:

1. Bisquick Brownie-Simulacrum Recipe

Catherine made the first instance of this cake for the students she advises in the International Student Organization meeting at Canterbury School. After sampling it for breakfast, and then seeing the way it was devoured by the students we decided we absolutely had to make it again for ourselves. Despite our springform pan deciding to suddenly fall apart just before putting the cake in the oven (don’t worry — all was saved) it was not a decision we regretted.

We didn’t have any grappa (a type of liquor) so we just left it out. I’m sure Patty is right and it gives a unique and delicious flavor to the crust, but we didn’t mourn for its absence. Also, on our second go-round, we decided to throw in the last of some frozen raspberries that have been haunting the rear of Catherine’s freezer for who knows how long. There’s something about raspberries that just goes with chocolate and the little bit of tartiness of the berries perfectly offset the sweetness of the cake.

The other nice thing about this recipe is that it’s very easy to make. The only thing that prevents it from being tagged with “quick and easy” is the amount of time one needs to spend cutting the butter into the flour to give it that wonderful crumby texture. Alas, neither one of us is that patient so our rendition of this recipe doesn’t have quite the texture that it should.

Torta Di Ricotta E Cioccolata (Ricotta and Chocolate Cake)
Ingredients (Crust)

• 2 1/3 cups flour
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 cup butter (cold, sliced thinly)
• 1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 1 egg
• 1 tbsp. milk
• 1 tbsp. grappa

Ingredients (Filling)

• 14 oz. fresh ricotta cheese
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 cup unsweetened chocolate chips

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 320 degrees
2. Grease and dust with flour a 9″ springform pan
3. In a large bowl, mix all the ingredients for the crust except the butter
4. Cut the butter into the crust mixture (you might want to chill the butter in the freezer for about a half hour beforehand), being careful not to overwork it so everything mushes together
5. Pres 1/2 of the crust mixture into the bottom of the springform pan
6. Mix the ricotta and sugar with a fork
7. Stir in the chocolate chips
8. Spread evenly on top of the crust in the springform pan
9. With the rest of the crust mixture, crumble it with your hands on top of the ricotta mixture (don’t worry — the butter will melt and it will set up nicely)
10. Bake 50 to 60 minutes

Related posts:

1. Slow Cooker (Self-Saucing Pudding Cake)
2. Carlos V Barra Estilo Chocolate con Leche (Carlos V Milk Chocolate Style Bar)
3. Pale-Locas Paletas de caramelo macizo chocolate-rompope (dual-headed chocolate-eggnog lollipop)

Now don’t get me wrong; I love Bisquick. It’s an essential ingredient in any bachelor’s apartment or hurried household’s pantry. In fact, if you don’t have any Bisquick in the house, I recommend you run out right now and buy a 5lb. box. Believe me, it’ll last you forever and assuming you have eggs, water and milk on hand you’ll never be at a loss for a crumbly bread-like side or dessert. Just resign yourself now to the fact that you will never make anything with Bisquick that quite resembles whatever-the-hell it’s supposed to be.

But I digress. So, as I mentioned, I found this recipe for Juneann’s Chewy Bisquick Brownies on the web and being lazy, as well as a lover of brownies, I was tempted by its’ promise of a quick, easy and cheap dessert. And I have to say, this is definitely the tastiest Bisquick-based recipe I’ve ever made. On the other hand, it has neither the texture of brownies or cake, but seems to fall into that Bisquick netherland that lies in between. Which just goes to prove our addage that everything tastes great as long as you add enough butter, chocolate, sugar and/or garlic to it. Not necessarily all at once of course, but this recipe certainly has plenty of those first three.

Anyhow, no picture of the results because the faux-brownies crumble and stick to the pan so much that this recipe could alternately be called “Buttered Choco-Crumble”. The results therefore aren’t very photogenic, so I’ve simply decorated this post with a Bisquick box instead. Again, I have to emphasize, this recipe makes for a sinfully rich and decadent dessert. Brownies, however, they’re not.

Bisquick Brownie-Simulacrum Recipe
Ingredients

• 1 1/3 cup Bisquick
• 1 2/3 cup sugar
• 3/4 cup cocoa
• 3/4 cup butter, melted (1 1/2 sticks)
• 2 large eggs
• 2 tbsp. water
• 2 tsp. vanilla

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease a 9″ X 13″ baking pan
2. Mix together the Bisquick, sugar, and cocoa in a large bowl
3. Whisk together the butter, eggs, water and vanilla in another, smaller, bowl
4. Mix the wet ingredients into the dry. The batter will be quite thick so you might want to use an electric mixer.
5. Glop (yes, I said glop) the brownie mixture into the prepared baking pan
6. Bake 18 – 25 minutes
7. Write snarky blog post about Bisquick (oh, OK, you can leave off this step)

No related posts.

Where Daddy dearest and I really disagree, though, is on the necessity of making frosting from scratch at all.  For my money, Betty Crocker and her friend Poppin’ Fresh do a splendid job for about $2.50 a canister and it beats the hell out of having four cups of confectioner’s sugar flying every which way. But I’m a lazy slacker who’s always looking for the quick ‘n’ easy way and Dad’s a true cook who actually sifts flour and performs other labor-intensive procedures.

In short, homemade’s better, but Betty’s fine in a time-crunch. I certainly enjoyed every bite of the carrot cake and cream cheese frosting and wished I had been there to lick the spoon!

Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients

(measurements in italics are for my dad’s reduced quantity, less sweet version)

• 6 Tbsp butter or margarine, at room temperature (4 1/2 Tbsp)
• 1 (8 oz) package cream cheese, at room temperature (6 oz)
• 1 tsp vanilla extract (3/4 tsp)
• 4 cups (1 lb) powdered sugar (2 cups)
• 1-2 Tbsp milk (3/4 – 1 1/2 Tbsp)

Preparation

1. Beat cream cheese, butter/margarine and vanilla with electric mixer until well combined.
2. Gradually add powdered sugar.
3. Add milk by tablespoonful until frosting reaches a spreadable consistency.

Putting it all together

1. Place one cake layer topside down on serving plate. Spread with frosting.
2. Top with remaining cake layer, topside up.
3. Spread sides and top of cake with remaining frosting.

Related posts:

1. Surprise Carrot Cake
2. Torta Di Ricotta E Cioccolata (Ricotta and Chocolate Cake)
3. Krusteaz… I’m sorry!